You NEVER know where the day will take you. One moment you are finishing off a nice refreshing run, wiping off the last droplet of sweat off your brow as you converse with a neighbor about the baseball game; the next, you find yourself in a situation you wish God didn’t allow to happen. The sad thing is that the thing that should never happen happens often.

The day began like it has for the past week, gloomy mornings with a light rain to keep me guessing if the clouds will move in our favor or against us to bring even more bothersome rains. This isn’t the sort of rain people look forward to either. In Southern California, we complain when it rains even though we badly need it because we don’t want to be bothered by nature. Here, nature has pillaged the town and left no crop standing. Everything that was planted, then replanted due to the floods in December, has been lost, again. Fortunately, this time, the rain clouds went off to bother some other poor community that hasn’t been bothered by over 8 straight days of rainy, gloomy days.

In the morning, I went to Changuinola (the provincial capital) with a community member to look into starting a Panama Verde club within my site. I got up, brushed my teeth with the water I had collected the night before in the rain, and dressed myself in my usual mangy attire. As we finished the meeting, I decided that I did NOT want to head back to site right away so I met up with a couple of other volunteers and ate lunch. We had pizza and it was yummy. Anytime I can get away from rice and beans, I take the opportunity without taking a beat. Unfortunately, the pizza didn’t really agree with my stomach so I have been having problems with it since. The chocolate that I can’t seem to stop eating probably isn’t helping either. I’d say that I consumed about 2 pounds of chocolate today.

Around five, I decided to head back on a bus. I arrived home and immediately changed into my sleeveless New Balance running shirt, Abercrombie gym shorts, and my cow poop stained Nike’s. This has been the outfit that I have been wearing for the last week. The water doesn’t stop pouring down so my clothes don’t dry; therefore, I have no clean clothes to wear when I am lounging around at home. I really smell with these clothes on, but who am I trying to impress? I go on a run, plugging my iPod into my ears and turning on a sermon by John Piper on the importance of defending those who are defensless and weak. As I returned, I visited with several of my favorite people in site and listened to the baseball game that was going on between my province Bocas del Toro (currently ranked number 1) and Colon.

After listening for too long and hearing the name of the local Disputado, Benicio Robinson a hundred thousand times too many, I fared well to my friends and headed down the road. The baseball games here are sponsored by the local politicians and this being an election year, every candidate puts out all the stops to make sure they either get elected, or re-elected. Benicio is the current ticket holder and paid a good chunk of change to get his name inserted into every play – ‘It’s a pinch hit! Benicio Robinson, the man you can trust. He is going home! Benicio Robinson wants you to know that he will meet your needs. Strike out! Benicio Robinson understands your needs.’ Need I say more?

I stopped by several houses to greet some of the members of my community and as I was nearing the store, randomly decided to turn around and say hello to a teacher friend of mine who has 5 wonderful kids that when I returned from the second flood evacuation, gave me a standing ovation and shouted so loud that I caught the neighbors peering out their windows and doors trying to figure out what was going on. It was quite the warm reception. These kids were simply excited because I was back; not because I was going to give them something or that they were expecting something from me, but simply because they were happy to see me. The thing is, I don’t think I’ve visited their house more than three times during my time in the community. It really did wonders, therapeutically for my soul to be wanted.

As I approached Yesenia, she was sitting by the well in front of her house with a red nose. She was sniffling with a tissue in her hand so I assumed she had a cold. Most people are dealing with some sort of illness right now. Our mutual friend, Anderson was sitting with her. He was waiting for a bus to come around so that he could go tend to some family matters in the provincial capital. It was dark and unlikely that he would catch one. I greeted them both and since I thought she was sick, I asked her how she was feeling and if she needed any cold medicine. She sort of laughed, gripping her phone tightly, and just proceeded to ask me how I was doing. I said I was ok and pressed to ask her how she got sick – I had no idea she was actually crying. She told me that the climate changing and the constant rains had caused it. At that moment, her daughter Estella came out of the house sniffling and where she would normally give me a big hug and shout my name, she just looked at her mom and then went back inside. I asked her if she was sick too because at the moment, they looked more like they were sick than they were crying. She said that Estella had been crying. I asked her if Estella was being disobedient, which seemed an odd question to ask because she is an incredible girl. Yesenia laughed and said nothing. We continued with small talk until Anderson’s bus came to all of our surprise and he dashed off.

A minute of silence passed between myself and Yesenia on the verge of awkwardness because I could tell that something was up and that this supposed sickness was more of a rouse than anything else. At the end of a minute, she asked me if she could be honest with me. I had no idea what to expect, but I said yes. She then told me that she was actually crying and not sick, and for the same reason as Estella. She told me that they were going through personal problems; family problems. As soon as she said family problems, I knew what had happened.
She burst into tears saying that she had invested so many years, so much time, and made so many sacrifices in her life for this. And out of nowhere, for something like this to occur, she felt lost and kept asking me how she could find peace. She was in a serious situation and she needed to make a decision. I told her that she would do the right thing and that she needed to turn to God. God is the only source of true peace – I’m done with the mumbo jumbo false substantive peace that comes from decieving yourself or trying to convince yourself of something that you don’t really want to be convinced of. I wondered for a moment as to whether or not it would be appropriate to pray with her, but I decided to hold it in and just pray silently as she just let it all out. She had no one to talk to and didn’t want the rest of the community to know what was going on. We spoke for five hours – well, she spoke, I merely listened.

I hate the infidelity of men, the lack of character in these generations, and the stupidity of the idea that people are disposable. I hate that people don’t make wise decisions when choosing guys and I hate even more that men are irresponsible. I hate that guys are generally after one thing and that women can’t see it. I hate that good guys finish last and that women have to learn the hard way. I hate that women have to hurt because of the immaturity of men. There is no excuse anymore. It doesn’t matter – there is no excuse for infidelity. I hate that money, power, prestige, and a lack of class seems to dismiss wrongdoings of men. I burn with hatred for the sin of infidelity.

Yesenia and her husband have been married for nearly two decades and have five children. She is a special soul and different from most Panamanians. She views the future and takes into account the importance of disciplining her children. Furthermore, she takes extra time out of her day to help kids who are struggling in school and her house is always full with her neighbors’ kids who are over to enjoy the atmosphere of the house. I’ve never seen her say that she cannot do anything for anyone and anytime I ask her to do something, she complies. She is an incredible woman who loves to help people and encourage people – and has the humility to ask how she can improve as a person. Before we found out about the bastard cheating on her, I had made an announcement to the community that I was going to do a marriage/relationship seminar. She asked if she could participate to see how she could become a better wife. My heart aches for her and the more I think of her and all the precious women like her, the more angry I get at the majority of the worthless men out there.

Here’s my challenge to you men. Stop being worthless and give reasons for women to lose faith in us. Let us respect women and cherish them for the simple reason that they are our sisters in the human race – made in the image of God. Let us increase our own standards for what it means to be a man and change the status quo. No longer can we denegrate ourselves to mediocracy and pathetic attempts to be cool or pursue our physical pleasures.

On behalf of men, women, please accept my sincerest apologies.